you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
