The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
