They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize