After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
