btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
