she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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