What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
