I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
