O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
