Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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