okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
a search helicopter?!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
