i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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