remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
