I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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