I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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