Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
