As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
