I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
