No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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