The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
