Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
