worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize