I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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