So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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