Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize