Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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