Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
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