Define "chronic" masturbator.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize