it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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