i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
