And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
