Michael Bay diarrhea
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
