We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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