Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.

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  (334): Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating? (1-334): You are proof that most things are best left unsaid. http://tfl.nu/quhe
  Replies (31) Good night (1068) Bad night (5173)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

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  (304): nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores http://tfl.nu/a1sm
  Replies (12) Good night (3795) Bad night (582)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?

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  (978): is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl? http://tfl.nu/dwko
  Replies (47) Good night (5651) Bad night (919)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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  (605): I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done. http://tfl.nu/lxsz
  Replies (23) Good night (1208) Bad night (4729)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ill be there in 5.

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  (812): through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife. (847): ill be there in 5. http://tfl.nu/y9p2
  Replies (26) Good night (8876) Bad night (1129)
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  (707): View more from California

  I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.

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  (707): I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard. http://tfl.nu/m0o4
  Replies (3) Good night (1727) Bad night (1047)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.

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  (859): You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower. http://tfl.nu/ss7c
  Replies (5) Good night (2248) Bad night (742)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.

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  (734): you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you. http://tfl.nu/57kx
  Replies (7) Good night (2109) Bad night (1184)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

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  (215): We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left. http://tfl.nu/c9gd
  Replies (6) Good night (781) Bad night (2239)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

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  (604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a
  Replies (7) Good night (1548) Bad night (559)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.

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  (617): Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good. http://tfl.nu/gr5l
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (446)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks

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  (204): Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks http://tfl.nu/u0ub
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (452)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap

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  (+44): I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap http://tfl.nu/nfma
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (316)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands

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  (440): If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands http://tfl.nu/oo81
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (328)
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  (315): View more from New York

  he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.

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  (315): he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed. http://tfl.nu/gyqg
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (549)

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