dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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