Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hey man sorry I got all grabby

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  (972): Hey man sorry I got all grabby http://tfl.nu/1c4w
  Replies (3) Good night (963) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How drunk are you??

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm flawless.

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  (860): How drunk are you?? (732): I'm flawless. http://tfl.nu/mygo
  Replies (8) Good night (2418) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture

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  (484): Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture http://tfl.nu/aclr
  Replies (23) Good night (741) Bad night (2258)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.

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  (530): No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here. http://tfl.nu/k9so
  Replies (33) Good night (2583) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.

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  (225): I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along. http://tfl.nu/uoya
  Replies (24) Good night (3288) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.

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  (214): didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping. http://tfl.nu/hx4w
  Replies (12) Good night (4654) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.

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  (214): he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day. http://tfl.nu/ey19
  Replies (16) Good night (5264) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.

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  (724): Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately. http://tfl.nu/qxtl
  Replies (8) Good night (2504) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks

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  (412): I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks http://tfl.nu/tkbs
  Replies (6) Good night (1615) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.

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  (505): Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got. http://tfl.nu/7wlw
  Replies (1) Good night (1044) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.

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  (541): I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house. http://tfl.nu/7lqp
  Replies (6) Good night (1218) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life

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  (937): Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life http://tfl.nu/0ubb
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.

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  (302): Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos. http://tfl.nu/r9f5
  Replies (1) Good night (614) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't remember dinner

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"

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  (850): I can't remember dinner (1-850): Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!" http://tfl.nu/mx63
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.

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  (813): He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants. http://tfl.nu/o9ns
  Replies (1) Good night (684) Bad night (286)

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