Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
