I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I see more hoeing in ur future
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