I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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