If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
