tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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