We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So vagazzling was a success
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize