SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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