is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Houston, we have a squirter
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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