Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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