once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
