Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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