I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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