sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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