this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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