drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
