I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
