Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Randomize
