My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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