Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
