He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
