So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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