quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it because I queefed?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
