I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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