After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
